last day for freedom

a windy corner on a dirty street

comfortably numb

where are you going? ..how are you getting there?

at no surprise

Top 5 Reasons Why I Hate the Gym:

1) It sucks, 2) texting is more prevalent than breathing, 3) when I see people wave in my direction, I generally wave back because I don't wear my glasses..and then later realize that they were not waving to me, 4) and while waving back, I run into things (most recently the wall) while walking away, 5) there's no good snacks.

it's a great delight and honor

Eddie has taught me a great many things. Most recently, that we are always seeking or running.  Seeking to feel better, to feel loved. Running from discomfort, pain, loneliness.

It's interesting to be conscious of this..and to then see what happens. After all, if you don't change direction.. you might end up where you're going.

Rincon.

cyclical.

we have surrendered ourselves to the mind. the mind which connects the dots down the path to joy

..and somehow this only leads us further from it.

the morning message

I Wanted To Change The World

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

-Unknown Monk 1100 A.D.

Thundercat returns

clarity, or so

the dream world's most influential gift to me- published, finally.

Geometric forms that simultaneously accept and reject each other-

a concealed narrative (for now)

naked.

I've sat down at my desk 4 times in the past 29 hours- excited and ready to write. When I get here, I find myself reminded that I'm stuck. I cannot write with clarity. At least, not like I used to.

Last week, my baby, my computer of 5 years, died on me. I'm stuck at a standstill. My creative potential has become stagnant. I have no energy to review photos, or retouch what I've captured lately. 

But, for what?

A piece of me was attached to my old computer. My mind doesn't like the idea of moving on. However- what I'm trying to appreciate is whether it's the computer that I'm attached to- or perhaps something else.

I haven't fully appreciated the last few months. What seems like yesterday, my life was a complete 180 from where it is today. I lived on the other side of town, with the Breakfast Lunch Club, and with an optimistic outlook.

Things were good.

What happened over the course of September drastically turned my world upside down. I went from a peaceful artist to an abandoned soul.  From here, I went to Yosemite where there was only a tent, my yoga mat, and a wise teacher. Here, I found my breath and was able to open my eyes- without tears. Through some struggle, I got back on my two feet.

Today, I remain vulnerable. However, it is this vulnerability that has enabled me to grow. And I am the most centered that I've been in 25 years.

Here's to you old computer, the past..and what's about to come.

You can come back now. Please?

Consider what your mind tells you is happiness. Now consider whether that's true.

last midnight.

Ehh, I've realized many things this holiday break, namely: overeating is a given and cannot be avoided, Joe's drinks are two too many, and animals make me smile the most.

More importantly, I appreciated that life is just a little dance.. 

I picked my favorite song, felt the momentary rhythm..and closed my eyes. Along the way, I (more often than not) tripped, stumbled and furrowed my brow. And when that happened, all there was to do was laugh, wipe the tears away, and breath.

I suppose that it's all about the dance, after all.

Most wonderful time of the year..

Happy Christmas. 2011.

..your life.

Just stop. For one second. Just stop.

Ignore the mind. Lean back. Feel.

 

That's the moment you are fully at peace.

That's the moment you are free.

..or at least that's what the manual says.

Mr. Duchamp goes to the beach.

 

Nothing better than finding your person unexpectedly, ice-cream in hand.

..next time, I'll find you in London town.

can't be bad to feel that good..

 ..belting the Elephant Love Medley on the daily.

To those who quiet their mind, the universe bows.

Is this short enough.

..back to the basics

Imago

"Perhaps the deepest reason why we are afraid of death is because we do not know who we are. We believe in a personal, unique, and separate identity- but if we dare to examine it, we find that this identity depends entirely on an endless collection of things to prop it up: our name, our 'biography,' our partners, family, home, job, friends, credit cards...It is on their fragile and transient support that we rely for our security. So when they are all taken away, will we have any idea of who we really are? Without our familiar props, we are faced with just ourselves, a person we do not know, an unnerving stranger with whom we have been living all the time but we never really wanted to meet. Isn't that why we have tried to fill every moment of time with noise and activity, however boring or trivial, to ensure that we are never let in silence with this stranger on our own?"

- Sogyal Rinpoche 

              

And the most ironic part about this is the part when I found the quote- alone & seemingly looking for a distraction.

August 12

Here's to you friends, life, rude waiters and music festivals..

The tools of self discovery..

Coherence. Balance. Focus. Effectiveness & Communication with People. Flexibility. Portability.

Principally Centered

I might as well center this text. 

Centering one's self is very hard. It is a constant battle to fit every little thing into a (very) short time frame. Principles govern the little time that we have for ourselves. But what are principles?

For me, principles are truths. They are deep fundamental beliefs that construct the fabric of life. They are interwoven into our very beauty and livelihood.

Staying true to my principles is tough. It will be my goal, starting tomorrow (or 7 hours from now), to stay true to the written principles in  my moleskin. How hard can it be? Hard enough to make it worth trying.

I challenge you to do the same. Please share your thoughts and experiences.

Simply Love. 

Food for the Highly Effective

I recently acquired The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, a book that I've aspired to read for quite some time.  I was perusing the aisles of Green Apple when I noticed this book sitting on one of the higher shelves. It was in the "Self-Help" section, which was a ironic considering that was the last thing I needed at the moment..  Hmm, self help? I hesitated before walking over to the section. I didn't want the regulars/employees of Green Apple to think I was a crazy person, which would have been a problem considering the fact that I go to Green Apple on a daily basis (thank you unemployment!)

"Whatever," I breathed. Who the hell cares. I'm already a crazy person anyway.

Fast forward to today when, after leaving Green Apple, I decided to take a little coffee break down the street. There, I opened up my 1980 edition of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. And it was there that I read these wise words:

"On the maturity continuum, dependence is the paradigm of you-you take care of me; you come through for me; you didn't come through; I blame you for the results.
Independence is the paradigm of I-I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose.
Interdependence is the paradigm of we-we can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.
Dependent people needs others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own effort. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.

If I were physically dependent-paralyzed or disabled or limited in some physical way-I would need you to help me. If I were emotionally dependent, my sense of worth and security would come from your opinion of me. If you didn't like me, it could be devastating. If I were intellectually dependent, I would count on you to do my thinking for me, to think through the issues and problems of my life.
If I were independent, physically, I could pretty well make it on my own. Mentally, I could think my own thoughts, I could move from one level of abstraction to another. I could think creatively and analytically and organize and express my thoughts in understandable ways. Emotionally, I would be validated form within. I would be inner directed. My sense of worth would not be a function of being liked or treated well."

My feelings, precisely.

The Greatest Adventure.